Getting Trolled By Pastries

So, as the title suggests, I got trolled by Poptarts Mister E flavor. Let me paint you a picture. It was early morning, and I had been craving a Poptart for several days. And so I took to my pantry and found a box of these breakfast pastries, that had been left there by my brother. My first red flag should have been the memory that my brother had told me he tried them and didn't like them. But I figured it may just be similar to flavors we were not the biggest fans of (for me would be birthday cake and hot fudge sundae).

So I patiently waited as my mysterious food rectangles toasted, and as soon as I grabbed them out of the toaster, I started noticing the oddities emerge. The first oddity, I smelled. It smelled like someone had used all slots on my toaster to cook up some garlic bread. Which I thought was strange, since my family uses the oven to do stuff like that, but I figured it could just be some strangely seasoned bread someone had toasted recently.

I then sit down with my breakfast, and start to worry as the smell is still lingering. Was that the garbage can I was sitting near? I tried to ignore it as I took a bite, and was met with the most confusing and upsetting bite I've ever had. I was now tasting the smell. And at first I worried that whatever was causing the smell from the toaster was so bad it was ruining the Poptarts I was eating. I then took another bite. And then chilling realization hit. That smell and taste was from the pastries themselves. Dear God.

After some Googling to ensure I hadn't just had some very spoiled Poptarts, my fears were confirmed. I had just had an "everything bagel" flavored Poptart (with the sugar icing still there so there was a weird sweetness as well). And apparently this wasn't the only shocking flavor that the mystery flavors came in. Some said theirs were flavored like chicken stock, and others said theirs were like Cheez-its. While I think there was a way they could have marketed and made savory Poptarts where they might have done well, "mystery flavor" wasn't it. It made the brain expect fruity or at least sweet and so the only reaction that they would get would be upset and maybe even disgusted, like I was.

I hope I have properly depicted the bad morning I had that day with that breakfast. Stay happy, healthy and safe. I will see you in two weeks!