I've Emerged

I apologize for accidentally disappearing. I tend to get swallowed up by the weeks and the week of last comic was especially hungry and the last one more so! But I thought I would check in so my precious jellybeans wouldn't worry. I'm not sure how many of you read these, and many entries are just me putting down my thoughts and feelings.

I think my big thing lately is seeing the end results of things I'm doing now, and wanting to skip to the end, and in general being impatient. It's like signing up for a race when you thought it was going to be a mile long and turns out to be a marathon. And it's hard when dealing with the negative feelings that well up because of this realization to realize that I've also made progress so it's not like I'm just starting these progress steps towards my goals.

Lately I've been trying to form some habits to help regulate negative thoughts like this. With any insecurities on how I am presently, I try to compare where I am and how I am now to how I used to be. And I also try and make a point to be kind to my past self, because I was just trying to do my best with the tools I have. But when I notice things like my past art is rough and cringe, I take the time to acknowledge that many times that at the very least means that I have since gained the knowledge to know where I went wrong and at most means that I could and have done better. And I'm far from perfect. I never will be, and that's okay. What makes me happy is that there are others that connect with my comics and find something out of them. Even if that's only an eye roll because of a pun. As I've said before, your pain only makes me stronger. mwahahah.

But please also keep in mind that I don't really know how to navigate these steps in life, and I, like everyone else is just making things up as I go along. And, luckily I've learned some good tools from people like my loved ones and my therapist, I've started being able to manage my life better, but I also have to undo 20+ years of bad habits. So, take it from me, it's a struggle, and it's okay to go backwards, and it's okay if it takes a while. Don't be discouraged and just try your best! Stay happy, healthy and safe!