What About Love?

The day has finally arrived! I have been wanting to do this week's blog for a while now, as it has been stewing in my brain for many weeks. And I had the realization that this week is the perfect week to talk about given the upcoming holiday and theme of this week's comic. And so, this week's topic is my love-hate relationship with love triangles.

As I mentioned in past blogs (such as this one), I am a fan of rom-coms. I have been for probably most of my life. As I age and mature, however, I am able to enjoy it and think critically about it at the same time. So for many years now, love triangles always stirred up a simultaneous joy and anger in me. When I was younger it was as simple as this: on the one hand I'm happy that the main character is loved and wanted and by multiple people (who are also willing to fight for the MC), but on the other hand it would frustrate me because the conflict itself stopped the MC from being in any relationship until it was resolved. Sure, sometimes this was out of order and the love triangle would happen after the MC was already in a relationship with one of the options, but I still think in a way the conflict still stops them from being in a relationship as they can't fully enjoy it until they choose and make it clear to both who they chose. I'm not sure if younger me would have articulated this quite as well, but that's why you have present day me!

Speaking of present day me, now that I'm older I still have those same views about love triangles but my pros and cons list has definitely grown. On one hand, besides the above positives, I do have to admit it is entertaining to watch the action unfold, and sometimes the situations do remind me of how real life is sometimes messy and sometimes you don't fall in love with just one person at a time. I especially love when it doesn't include a scene where one person cheats or is not upfront about their feelings towards someone else. While I know these love triangle situations in real life do sometimes end up with someone being unfaithful so having that in a story is realistic, and if done right can show that someone can make a big mistake but then change their life for the better, I think it's been done enough in stories that those ideas are already out there for people to find (although if any readers find an interesting or engaging new spin on that sort of story I am all for it). And especially if it's a story for young adults or children, I think a better model for behavior would be honesty (with the others involved and with oneself), and sometimes distance until the MC is able to sort out their own feelings, so as to be less likely to hurt or lead on others. So I appreciate stories that show this.

And along the lines of fresh takes and twists on known plot-lines and tropes, I do love when it's a love triangle but one of the tropes is turned on it's head. Like when the story steers you towards one of the Triangle options only for them to end up with the other option and -- if the writers do it correctly -- you as the reader or viewer are surprisingly for it because the relationship is healthy and they are so good together and better than the other option. Or like when the triangle is bisexual/pansexual. It used to be that all I'd see for love triangles was two of one gender in love with the same person of the opposite gender and the person could potentially love them both, or the person is in love with two people who are both the opposite gender of that person. And, luckily nowadays it's not as big of a deal who you love, so there are more stories where two individuals are in love with the same person, or that person is in love with both of them but the two individuals may not be the opposite gender of the person. I could go on with this, but the point is that twists are refreshing!

On the other hand for love triangles, is the thought that drove me to write on this topic in the first place. I am not anywhere near the first person to write about this, and my inspiration to my thoughts came from watching Cinema Therapy's videos on the Twilight Series (I believe specifically they talked about this in their videos on Eclipse). If you haven't heard of them or seen these videos, I highly recommend you watch them. They are very insightful and helped me to realize my main issue I have with love triangles. In the videos Jonathan and Allan talk about how the entire time that this love triangle between Bella, Edward and Jacob, they don't really bring Bella in on this conversation. They fight amongst themselves about who deserves her and even when she is telling Jacob that she likes Edward he refuses to listen.

And that's when I realized that this idea was unfortunately a big trope of love triangles. Of course, Stephenie Meyer added a lot more to these ideas that made them more extreme and arguably more problematic, but the idea that two people are in love with the same person and they decide to fight over the person to see who will win this person is definitely not a new idea. And I suppose the reason it might be a trope is that this happens in real life as well. And it's been happening for centuries. This thought does nothing to lessen my frustration, however. I'm not sure why it doesn't occur to more of these characters that in the end the MC is going to be the one to decide whether they want to be with these choices. Heck, for all these characters know, the MC may not truly want to be with either option. If that were the case then congratulations, you two played yourselves. They fought with each other for nothing. So, knowing that the MC is going to have to decide where there feelings lie, it should be obvious to go up to the MC and be like "hey, we both like you, do you like either of us." And then, if it's a situation where the MC likes both and can't decide, give them space to decide. It won't speed up the process to confuse them and push for an answer by fighting or being overly flirty. Sometimes that may even work to your disadvantage. Nothing is sexier than someone who respects another person's thoughts, feelings and boundaries.

I know I typed up a storm this week, and hopefully my rant didn't feel too much like I was back on my soapbox. If you were to want any takeaway from this blog, I hope to give you these points: If you want to write an engaging story, popular themes and tropes are entertaining but many times twists on those are even more entertaining. And If you find yourself stumbling upon a relationship like Bella, Edward and Jacob, maybe try communication. Or just do what Jonathan for Cinema Therapy suggests and have the Edward and Jacob just run away together.

See you all next week, my jellybeans. Stay happy, healthy and safe.